One more

Please, if possible, make the message of this post available to a wider group (especially doctors). I believe it can help people in a similar situation. I have been suffering from chronic headaches since 2017. Despite many studies, the cause has not been found. All my treatment attempts have failed. I cannot list all the drugs I have tried and the other alternatives that have failed. Gradually I lost all hope of possible help. The excruciating pain caused thoughts of suicide. I visited a psychiatrist for the first time in 2019. The antidepressants used did not help. Repeated psychotherapies didn't help either. Despite everything, I decided that I would not give up and I wanted to live in spite of adversities, every day thinking about taking my own life, but wading forward , appreciating the gift of life. 
I made a list  of things that are extremely annoying and should be changed. I know my story probably won't add much, but if I can only help one person, I think it's worth it. 1. Doctors are reluctant to prescribe opioids, even if it brings relief. The reason for this is addictive action. People asking for opioids are treated like drug addicts. At least I had such experiences. Drugs like morphine oxycodone are literally taboo. 
If it weren't for the opioid medications and the relief they bring, I would have killed myself a long time ago. It is a temporary relief that means a lot. 2. When it comes to benzodiazepines, things are also bad. In the worst situations, they helped me. I heard from doctors that they would not prescribe it for me anymore, which only increased thoughts of suicide. The reason is also addiction. 3. I believe that people with chronic pain who have thoughts of suicide at the same time should be given special care and attention. They should be handled differently, and their requests to administer potent drugs.
should be taken seriously. After all, it's better to be addicted than to take your own life.

A year or two of delaying a suicide is still a long time. That's my opinion. Drugs have definitely prolonged my life and I am grateful to the advances in medicine. Unfortunately, my condition keeps getting worse. Headaches are getting stronger and the psyche is getting weaker. I doubt it will last that long. If I had the opportunity, I would devote myself to helping people who are suicidal and in chronic pain. Unfortunately, my time is slowly coming to an end. If you are a doctor, be mindful of such patients and that is what I wrote. Mateusz Kurnicki

- I have received this message from his mother 
- Mateusz was 18 years old
- Mateusz had Chiari syndrom , neurosurgeons refused to operate him in Poland and the operation was too risky 
He had to die but why in such suffering , without dignity - where were the doctors 

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